I know what I want and I don’t fuck around when it comes to decision-making. And I’m stating that as simply and sweetly as I possibly can. I’ve never been one of those waffling and indecisive individuals, I’m too impatient for that. I just follow my heart and the decisions come easy. Some people have a hard time following their heart, which makes sense if your heart is a total wiener. But mine isn’t. My heart is open and passionate and fierce. It never lies, its chambers pump honesty through my arteries and into my veins all day long. It’s easy to follow and it never disappoints.
There are an absurd number of decisions to be made when you’re planning a wedding. It can be exhausting, sure. But if you’ve got a bold heart to follow, like I do, then it’s pretty fucking easy. You just have to endure, that’s the trick. Drown out all of the unnecessary babble around you and endure. And don’t put too much weight on the little things, save your energy for more trying decisions.
It took me a long time to wrap my head around the planning of my wedding. I always knew exactly what I wanted, deep in my heart, I just didn’t want to tackle all of those decisions immediately. But when I was finally ready to commence planning, the decisions starting coming fast and easy. Venue, food, colour scheme, music, guests, it all just starts falling perfectly into place.
Stepping back, and looking over the work we’ve done so far, I can safely say that I’m kicking the fucking shit out of wedding planning, you guys. Like, seriously. Kicking the fucking shit out of it.
We’ve got an amazing venue:
A delicious menu picked out:
Exciting Do-It-Yourself invitations:
The perfect pair of shoes to carry me down the aisle:
Our territorial, er I mean ceremonial, rings:
And another majorly huge decision was made this weekend. Probably the biggest decision of the whole entire wedding.
The dress.
Wanting to be different, I originally intended to buy something online. Buying online meant that I wouldn’t have had to order it so far in advance, and I could carry on living my life without stressing too much about my figure. But if you go through a bridal shop, ordering eight months out from the date can potentially be cutting it too close. I was still feeling like I had tons of time, that the wedding was still a good stretch away, like in the distant future. So I had a little bit of a panic attack when I realized that eight months is kind of the unofficial cutoff for choosing the dress. If I left that all-important wedding dress decision unmade for too much longer, then it would be too late for me to backtrack and order something from an actual bridal shop. If the online search went tits up, then I’d be royally fucked.
So I texted my maid of honour, Joce-force, in a bit of a panic. She encouraged me to book some appointments and said that we’d ditch our boyfriends for the day to go shopping until we found something awesome. And we did. We did it, you guys. We got up early on Saturday morning, did a little bit of light day drinking while en route to bridal shops across the city, and we found the perfect fucking dress. I’m so excited about it.
And I’m so happy that Joce was there to help, I needed her. She doesn’t pull her punches, especially not with the pushy sales people and designers. I’m decisive yes, but I’m shy about telling people who I don’t know that I think something is shit. I only had to look at Joce and she knew what I was thinking. She’d tell people when I thought a dress was crap with no qualms whatsoever. Joce kept a steady stream of secret purse drinks flowing, she made inappropriate and hilarious jokes all day to keep us laughing, and she even haggled with snooty salespeople for me.
We knew we had the perfect dress when a dreamy, disbelieving look stole across my face as I looked at myself in the mirror. A happy, heart’s desires fulfilled kind of look.
It only took one day to find my wedding dress. Because I know what I want, and I don’t fuck around. And because I have an awesome friend who can turn even the most daunting of tasks into hilarious adventures.
Another decision masterfully conquered, and many more still to come. I’ll just keep following my heart and it’ll make sure that I get everything I want. It always does.
Looks like you’ve got aw heck of a great time planned for everyone, huge congrats to both of you and your families!
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Thanks Ryan, that’s so sweet of you to say! I dream big, so I’ve been dreaming that it turns out to be the party of the decade.
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I have no doubt that it will be!
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Not sure about the T-Rex hands, but I love the way you describe yourself and Joce… sounds like dress shopping was a real caper, and I’d say “I wish I’d been a fly on the wall”, but that sounds kinda pervy. I just think I’d get a lot of great material for scripts following you gals around!
Anyhoo, congrats on checking off so many “to do” items so emphatically! You’re truly a force to be reckoned with, my friend! 🙂
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I know that your intentions are not perverted, you have more respect for women than anyone else I know. And you have such a kind and gentle soul, so I know that you only ever mean well 🙂
I would love it if you could spend an afternoon with us and join in the fun, you’d definitely get a lot of ideas for funny female interactions. When one of the salespeople bustled my dress (they take the train and hook it to the dress around you bum to gather all of the material) Joce said “Oh, it looks like you’re pooping a wedding dress!” And everyone in the store heard and laughed. It was the line of the day.
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Oh, bless you! That’s such a sweet thing to say. 😀
And “pooping a wedding dress” would have made me crack up too. Hee!
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“which makes sense if your heart is a total wiener”
My wiener is a total heart. In that i beat it all the time.
I think you should live stream the wedding to all of us!
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hahahaa, ewww. That’s hilarious and awesome.
And that’s actually a really rad idea, streaming the wedding. One of my best friends will be in vietnam, so I was already thinking about that… If I get something setup, I will for sure share it with all of my blogging chums! 🙂
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A couple of my friends got married in a Vegas chapel, and there was a live-streaming video on the chapel’s website… I wasn’t supposed to know about it, but the bride’s friend tipped me off! Quite moving, even if it was only a tiny, flickering image and tinny sound…
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I like the idea of being futuristic and setting up some kind of stream. I’m definitely going to look into it.
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We could all make a speech each!
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I would be very excited to hear a speech from you, Mikey.
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It would be like the end of The Graduate and you would run off with me.
I’m sorry, i wouldn’t do that to your fiance (I totally would)
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LOL! That sounds like a funky adventure. and would we catch a city bus and listen to Simon & Garfunkel as we rode off into the sunset?
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That sounds much better than my original idea of a Kill Bill style wedding massacre. I just wanted to see you in that yellow jumpsuit!
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Oh dammit, I should’ve bought a yellow jumpsuit! What a missed opportunity. Now I’ll have to walk down the aisle knowing that I could’ve looked a lot more badass on my wedding day.
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Sounds fun. Hope you have a great time 😀
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Thanks Tim! 🙂
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What about them vegetarians??
Awesome stuff, Smash! I like to think that I don’t fuck around with decision-making either, but way too often, I do. I’ll try to learn from you. 😉
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Don’t worry, there’s a vegetarian option too 😉
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GREAT POST!!!! I love you!!! You’ll have the best time!!!
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I LOVE YOU TOO!!! 🙂
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YES!!
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This post doesn’t mention anything about hiring a chimpanzee ringbearer.
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Is Shakma free that Saturday?
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Yes but you want that day to be happy and celebratory, not sorrowful.
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We could find Shakma a cute little monkey date to help him work out all of his aggression.
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